Sauna Party tip #7: Marty’s Law of Reverse Cycling.

So, you’re at a sauna party and you find yourself sitting next to someone you really don’t want to be with.  Hey, it happens.  It’s rare – those into sauna are generally grounded, fun, personable – but it can happen.  So, what do you do?

Reverse Cycle.

What is Reverse Cycling?  As you sit next to the blubbering, babbling, buffoon, act surprised, get up and announce your departure from the hot room. Good reasons to exit include:

• “I have to hit the bathroom.”
• “Fiddlesticks, I have to make a quick call.”
• Or just the vague “I’ll be back.”

AVOID ANNOUNCING::

• “I’m going to go grab a beer” – Buffoon may ask you to bring him one.
• “I don’t feel well”-  Buffoon may show false sympathy and want to exit to sit with you and babble more.

With you safely outside the sauna hot room, you are free to do whatever.  Keep an eye or ear out for Buffoon: chances are he’ll not be far behind.  Meet Buffoon’s exit with your entrance back into the sauna.  You’re now Reverse Cycling.

Buffoon will not last long alone cooling down, so save tossing water on the rocks for Buffoon’s reentry into sauna.  You will be cooled and fresh, Buffoon will be hot and bothered.  Greet Buffoon’s reentry into sauna with a generous dousing of water on sauna rocks.  This should drive Buffoon back out of sauna, freeing you up for a nice, relaxing sauna round.  Buffoon may try to re enter, and that’s OK and to be expected.  Greet the re entry with more water on the rocks.  You will be well into your sauna round by then, and you’re that much closer to your cool down.

Buffoon will find himself completely reverse cycled.

Sometimes, you may need to Reverse Cycle by prolonging your cool down.  Buffoon may be talking your ear off when all you want to do is chill out.  If Buffoon has been out of the sauna longer than you, chances are, Buffoon will want to get back in the sauna well before you.  This is good.  Encourage another round (“man, it’s cold out here”), letting Buffoon go in the sauna first.  You can chill out in peace, Reverse Cycling.

After a few tactical moves along these lines, you should have no problem enjoying your sauna.. sans Buffoon.