My thirty years as a corporate foot soldier has left some indelible marks. Corporate travel, where the early morning seemed to be always announced by a loud door slam echoing down the hallway — the shower curtain salesman, up and out at 4:30 a.m. to catch his next flight from O’Hare. Where am I? I’d wonder, eyes half-closed, disoriented. A quick glance around the room and then: ugh. I’d wrap the pillow tighter around my head. Not even sunrise yet, and I’ve got the Hilton Garden Inn sauna blues.
Stale Air
Some hotels try to offer a window that opens. A two-inch mercy gap for those longing for fresh air. However, just like the no throwing water on the rocks rule at gyms and pool saunas, the maintenance department always wins: “The air pressure differential will mess with the HVAC system.” So, there we go — stale, dry air, to protect the stainless steel ducts and fans. Recirculated air through the entire hotel. Twenty-four/seven.
Our nose is as crackly as walking under an oak tree in November.
Clean Sheet Irony
I’ve enjoyed the debate often enough: which do you prefer?
A) Sleeping in a Sprinter van in the parking lot
B) A Hilton Garden Inn hotel room
Most go with the hotel room. Clean sheets and towels. Great, I counter. But how many different heads have slept on that pillow? How many others have slept in “your” bed?
Sure, a van out back may be a Unabomber haven, but more and more people are beginning to appreciate their own space — their own patina.
Spontaneous connection (via the TV remote)
Beyond check-in, hotel “common areas” — no matter how many design firms are involved — all feel the same. Common area zones that miss on the attempt to welcome and gather. Sawed-off books mounted on walls and a Garrison Keillor type reading chair, but most make a bee line to their hotel room.
When’s the last time you heard someone say, “We met the most wonderful man at the Hilton Garden Inn last night”?
Nope. Our only spontaneous connection is with the TV remote next to the bed.
The big screen stares back, begging for attention. Tempting us like a candy assortment rolled out for a third grader.
Sure, we could read the book we brought.
But instead, off we go — clicking lazily through channels, trying to transport ourselves mentally…
…from the Hilton Garden Inn lack-of-sauna blues.
But what if?
Next time you’re holed up in one of these hotels, imagine this:
A couple remote parking spots out back — redeployed.
A kick-ass mobile sauna.
A chill-out zone with cedar bench seating, maybe a trellis fence and a string of festive lights, and simple outdoor shower to get rid of airplane juice.
Back inside, the stale air still lingers. But now it’s got a counterweight: the memory of deep, oxygen-rich löyly from the night before.
That shower curtain salesman slamming the hallway door at 4:30 a.m.?
Chances are, thanks to a few solid sauna rounds and cold plunges, we slept right through it.
Forget the fishbowl “common area” beyond check-in. We’ve discovered a third space: the communal — or solo — Culture of Bathing.
Those two or three parking spots in the back corner?
Easily transformed from dead asphalt to living oasis.
A small natural sanctuary. A million miles from the “on the road” mule train of airport delays, TSA theatre, rental car shuttles, and lines.
Just as good heat knows no borders, the familiar rhythm of the sauna — Sit. Breathe. Throw water. Chill. Repeat. —becomes the perfect antidote to the bleary blur of corporate travel.
My sauna “I Have a Dream” speech
I have a dream that the CEO of Hilton Garden Inn (or similar) will one day experience how simple — and how powerful — it is to offer a thermal retreat within a compact footprint. And the CEO will have been impacted by the self regulated safety at Oslo Sauna Association, where over 250,000 guests annually sweat, swim, and solace with “very few safety incidences.”
A kick-ass sauna in nature.
Even if that “nature” is in the back parking lot —with a cedar fence, cold outdoor garden hose, soft lights in the trees, and a handful of tuned-in guests.
“Welcome to the Hilton Garden Inn.
Will you be partaking in sauna with us this evening?”
